A guy sits down at the bar and orders drink after drink.

“Is everything okay, pal?” the bartender asks.

“My wife and I got into a fight and she said she isn’t talking to me for a month!”

Trying to put a positive spin on things, the bartender says,

“Well, maybe that’s kind of a good thing. You know, ..a little peace and quiet?”

“Yeah. But today is the last day.

A guy goes over to his friend’s house, rings the bell, and the wife answers. “Hi, is Tony home?” “No, he went to the store.” “Well, you mind if I wait?” “No, come in.”

They sit down and the friend says

“You know Nora, you have the greatest melons I have ever seen. I’d give you a hundred bucks if I could just see one.”

Nora thinks about this for a second and figures what the hell a hundred bucks.

She opens her robe and shows one.

He promptly thanks her and throws a hundred bucks on the table.

They sit there a while longer and Chris says

“They are so beautiful I’ve got to see the both of them. I’ll give you another hundred bucks if I could just see the both of them together.”

Nora thinks about this and thinks what the hell, opens her robe, and gives Chris a nice long look. Chris thanks her, throws another hundred bucks on the table, and then says he can’t wait any longer and leaves.

A while later Tony arrives home and his wife says “You know, your weird friend Chris came over.”

Tony thinks about this for a second and says “Well did he drop off the 200 bucks he owes me?”