Nike Ends Partnership With Megan Rapinoe: “We Paid For a Champion”

Soccer star Megan Rapinoe is returning from the World Cup a broken athlete. The loss to Sweden lies squarely on her after missing an easy penalty shot on an open net.

Her biggest sponsor, woke brand Nike, is so disappointed that they ended their nearly 2-decade relationship with the player.

“We paid for a champion,” said Marketing Director Joe Barron, “but unfortunately those days are over. She was great once. Nobody will forget that.”

Considering she’s also been dropped by the OL Reign, the US Women’s Olympic Team, and the World Coccer Network, that statement may not stand up to the test of time.

“It all started with a Twitter trend,” said ALLOD sports analyst Art Tubolls, “As soon as her name came up and there was video of that shot, it was over. That one dude in Maine started pumping out headlines like crazy. Google showed an uptick in searches for ‘Megan Rapinoe bad,’ which is like writing a blank check for political trolls. Honestly, I’m a bit surprised at the lack of fact-checks.”

It’s true, patriots, we’ve added the obligatory “Punishing Megan Rapinoe” category for the festivities. We don’t see her beating out Jason Aldean, who we still wouldn’t be able to pick out of a lineup had it not been for the dumb song. The gods are looking favorably upon Rapinoe stories, however, and we just sacrificed 2/3rds of a moose up here to keep the ball rolling. There was blood and symbology and possibly some chanting involved.

Luckily, that’s all covered by the 1st Amendment. God Bless America.

Related Posts

8 things that happen to your body when you stop drinking diet soda

No matter how many times we’re told of the ill effects, no matter how many times our parents told us ‘drink water instead’ when we were young, most of…

DOJ Sues Gov. Walz Over Program Favoring Illegal Immigrants Over Citizens

The Department of Justice has filed a lawsuit against the state of Minnesota and Democratic Governor Tim Walz over a program designed to offer financial aid to…

Former President Joe Biden Sad News

The nation is in mourning following the passing of former President Joseph R. Biden Jr., who died peacefully at his home in Wilmington, Delaware, surrounded by family….

The 5-month-old baby who was hit by a… See more

In a heartbreaking incident that has left a community in shock, a 5-month-old baby was critically injured after being struck by a stray bullet. The tragedy has…

To BE VERY CAREFUL . If you get this, you are infected with …. Check the 1st comment

WANT TO REMOVE WARTS NATURALLY? TRY THESE! Apple Cider Vinegar – Soak & tape overnight. Garlic – Crush & apply daily.Banana Peel – Rub nightly, secure with…

Trump Thanks El Salvador For Taking Alleged Gang Members Deported From US

President Donald Trump thanked El Salvador’s President Nayib Bukele after a video showed hundreds of suspected criminal migrants being deported from the U.S. to El Salvador. Trump…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *