Wheaties Cancels Megan Rapinoe Campaign: “We Only Put Champions on the Box”

Since 1918, the General Mills company has put champions of the sporting world on boxes of its Wheaties brand cereal. This year, the space was reserved for Megan Rapinoe, who was expected to come home from Sweden with yet another World Cup win.

Instead, she came home a loser, with her tail between her legs, after missing an easy kick on an open net. The game wasn’t all she lost, however.

“We had to re-evaluate our position on using Ms. Rapinoe this year,” said General Mills Chairman Joe Barron, “We only put champions on the box.”

Rapinoe wasn’t happy at the news, threatening to sue the company over “loss of image.” She seems to forget that she did that, not a cereal company.

General Mills may instead go with Riley Gaines, who just won a medal in Texas for unfettered bigotry. She sat next to one of the Dunning Kruger Times’ favorite people, Governor Greg Abbott, and made sure other young women like her never have to tie for fifth again.

“Thanks to this landmark legislation,” said Gaines, “I should be able to increase my following enough to be the next Tomi Lahren. Only Tomi doesn’t have the ass I do.” Lahren fired back something about Riley’s eyes being too close together before being solidly put in her place with a single mention of her fivehead.

It’s a great day when someone like Rapinoe gets punished for having political views the right disagrees with. God Bless America.

Related Posts

Jenna Bush admits that she tested positive for…See more

Just half an hour ago, a wave of excitement swept across Texas after Jenna Bush was confirmed as the featured guest for a new community initiative that…

MourningSchool bus accident: 32 children lost…

Eight Years Since the Karatu School Bus Disaster On August 6, 2025, the people of Tanzania marked eight painful years since the Karatu school bus tragedy. The…

These are the consequences of showering with…See more

Showering is a regular part of most people’s daily routine, providing a sense of freshness, cleanliness, and relaxation. While it’s widely considered a healthy hygiene practice, there…

We announce the death of dear Liliane, her b0dy was full of… Read more

Reports indicate that Liliane’s body was found under tragic circumstances, sparking an outpouring of grief and concern among those close to her. Authorities are investigating the situation…

The truth about cremation: What really happens — and what it does for the soul

Cremation has become an increasingly common choice for families in recent decades, especially in the Western world, where tradition and culture have shifted toward practicality, affordability, and…

Young man puts both daughters inside the fir… See more

A troubling situation unfolded earlier this week when a young father made a decision that left his entire community shaken. According to early reports, he placed both…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *