Nike Ends Partnership With Megan Rapinoe: “We Paid For a Champion”

Soccer star Megan Rapinoe is returning from the World Cup a broken athlete. The loss to Sweden lies squarely on her after missing an easy penalty shot on an open net.

Her biggest sponsor, woke brand Nike, is so disappointed that they ended their nearly 2-decade relationship with the player.

“We paid for a champion,” said Marketing Director Joe Barron, “but unfortunately those days are over. She was great once. Nobody will forget that.”

Considering she’s also been dropped by the OL Reign, the US Women’s Olympic Team, and the World Coccer Network, that statement may not stand up to the test of time.

“It all started with a Twitter trend,” said ALLOD sports analyst Art Tubolls, “As soon as her name came up and there was video of that shot, it was over. That one dude in Maine started pumping out headlines like crazy. Google showed an uptick in searches for ‘Megan Rapinoe bad,’ which is like writing a blank check for political trolls. Honestly, I’m a bit surprised at the lack of fact-checks.”

It’s true, patriots, we’ve added the obligatory “Punishing Megan Rapinoe” category for the festivities. We don’t see her beating out Jason Aldean, who we still wouldn’t be able to pick out of a lineup had it not been for the dumb song. The gods are looking favorably upon Rapinoe stories, however, and we just sacrificed 2/3rds of a moose up here to keep the ball rolling. There was blood and symbology and possibly some chanting involved.

Luckily, that’s all covered by the 1st Amendment. God Bless America.

Related Posts

Her words left thousands speechless… Full story in the comments

In a moment that stunned tens of thousands, Erika Kirk, widow of conservative firebrand Charlie Kirk, made headlines for something unimaginable: she publicly forgave the man accused…

5 early signs of can.cer growth in the body

Cancer is a severe disease that often grows silently, with symptoms appearing only in advanced stages. However, the body can show early alert signs that, if recognized…

CHARLIE KIRK — A LIFE LIVED AT HYPERDRIVE

At the heart of a packed memorial service, Pastor Rob McCoy delivered words that shook the crowd to silence: “He lived 10 lives in 31 years.” That…

Erika Kirk Recalls the Surgeon’s Devastating Message Following Charlie Kirk’s Assassination

The United States continues to mourn the shocking assassination of political activist and Turning Point USA founder Charlie Kirk, who was fatally shot on September 10, 2025,…

Reasons You Could Have Numbness or Tingling Sensations in Your Hands

Experiencing those peculiar sensations of numbness or tingling in your hands can be quite unsettling. These feelings, often described by people as “pins and needles,” can vary…

15 True Events So Disturbing They Defy All Logic

Sometimes the real world can be more unsettling than any fictional work. You may be surprised by the real-life stories in this collection. What initially appear to…

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *