When I was younger, I had a large number of pals. I only shared sensitive information with a few select individuals whom I regarded as some of my closest confidants. I had the impression that they were completely familiar with every aspect of my being, that they could see me, and that they would never leave me. My expectation was that they would be in the bridal party for my wedding, that we would have children around the same time, and that our children would be the best of friends.
However, as time went on, I was able to complete my education and get a “real job.” As a result of my maturation and growth, circumstances shifted. All of those friendships that I once believed I couldn’t function in my life without eventually died away.
I want to make it quite clear that I do not in any way, shape, or form put the whole of the responsibility for my lack of friends on other people. I was mostly responsible for the breakdown of those friendships due to my actions. But at first, I was overcome with a terrible feeling about the entire situation. I had the impression that I was making a lot more of an effort and contributing a lot more of myself than I was receiving in return.
As soon as I stopped giving each connection 100 percent of my attention, I saw a drop in the quality of my friendships. We both failed to put forth the effort necessary to repair what was broken. Instead, we walked away from the situation.
The problem about certain individuals is that they have the potential to enter and exit your life at any time. I’ve come to the realization that as you grow older, it becomes more difficult to establish new friends. This is due to the fact that you eventually come to terms with the fact that you are done with drama and don’t have time for foolishness. The most important thing to take away from all of this is the realization that it’s OK to feel that way because this is your life to live.
When you become older, you have less patience and are less inclined to put up with things.
When you were younger, you probably want to have friends in all of the many groups you encountered. The more mature you are, the less ready you are to waste your time and effort on dealing with things that aren’t worthwhile in the long run. If someone wants to be dishonest, they have no business being in my life because I will not tolerate it. If someone isn’t willing to put in the effort to make our relationship sustainable, it might seem frustrating, but I don’t have time for the bullshit anymore since I don’t have the time to invest in it. If that means I won’t be able to make any new friends and I’ll lose the ones I already have, then I’d rather spend my time by myself than with someone who makes me feel like I’m all alone myself.
It’s possible that as you become older, you’ll lose interest in meeting new acquaintances.
My life has progressed to the point that I don’t even consider establishing new acquaintances to be one of my top concerns anymore. Even now, you can count on me to be nice. I make small talk with people and spend time with them, but I don’t really allow anybody into my inner circle. I don’t divulge any of my confidences to them. I don’t put myself in a vulnerable position.
It’s too late for me to find a new closest buddy at this point. I am happy and content with the fact that I have a family of my own. When you reach a certain age, it becomes less important for you to always be expanding your circle of acquaintances to include new people.
As you become older, you could have a more wary attitude toward other people.
When you’re young, you may believe that other people always have your best interests in mind. You put your whole faith and reliance in them. As you become older, you realize that other people have the potential to harm and disappoint you. It was amazing to see so many close friends go, but fortunately, it made leaving myself much less difficult to do. I had no choice but to toughen up in order to survive.
As you become older, you will find that you are less likely to choose to put other people’s needs before your own.
My experience has taught me that the only way to make things really better for yourself is to put your own needs above those of others. At some point along the path toward genuine maturity, a switch is flipped, but it doesn’t happen all at once.
You shift your focus from pleasing other people to pleasing yourself in the actions that you do. As you become older, you become less likely to give up seeking for a buddy who will be there for you no matter what. Instead, you focus on becoming a better version of yourself. Your life may be filled with friends who come and go, but you yourself will never change.
